Woman Loses 180 Pounds In 30 Days After Miracle Microwave Diet

Chicago| An Illinois woman has defied all laws of human physics as what Guinness World Record’s has proclaimed to be the fastest weight loss diet ever recorded in human history.

Jane Lauren, a stay-at-home mother of six, admits having lost so much weight in so little time has dramatically changed her perspective on life and how others look at her.

“Before I always had to wait in line at the grocery store. Now, men let me go through the line all the time. There is even one man who offered to pay my 300$ grocery bill once, even though I’d never seen him before, he just wouldn’t let me pay” laughs the 34-year-old woman.

Before she embarked on this highly controversial microwave diet, Jane was very skeptical about using a microwave to lose weight, but just a few days into the experiment rapidly shook her suspicions away.

“I was of those loony people who think microwaves emit toxic radiation that gives you cancer” she admits. “I don’t know if that holds up scientifically but for the benefits it has given me, I’ll never stop eating from the microwave” she adds, visibly proud of her recent accomplishment.


Surprisingly enough, the woman claims she can even eat fast food in her diet, “as long as it has gone through the microwave”, landing her a prestigious publicity deal with international fast food chain restaurant Wendy’s.

U.S. Food And Drug Administration (FDA) attests that microwave cooking is safe and does not reduce the nutritional value of foods any more than conventional cooking. In fact, foods cooked in a microwave oven may keep more of their vitamins and minerals, because microwave ovens can cook more quickly and without adding water.

5 Comments on "Woman Loses 180 Pounds In 30 Days After Miracle Microwave Diet"

  1. She must have lost her 180 pound husband.

  2. I’ve been fasting, excercising, and laxing.

    I’m still stuck at 89. I need two more pounds. Two. And it makes me SO FRUSTRATED.

    Then this bitch comes along. Her and banana ho. Fml

  3. if u eat 2 crackers a day it works i was on the low point of my life i had a box of crackers left in 30 days my family asked me if i had surgery or doing drugs i told them how i did 2 crackers a day and walk i went from a size 32 to a size 2 and i am gonna start it again as so as i can i was in bad accident scalped me broke wrist broke foot fractured neck c4 and damaged back was in comma for 2 weeks and still on bed rest but best way i found to lose weight

  4. There was a suggested article at the bottom of the page that pertained to a very unattractive man with a cone-shaped head that read “Man Cheats On Wife With Goat”. I will not be reading that unless he claims to have lost weight

  5. Amazed nothing is mentioned if she had to do any operations to remove excess skin of course unless she has a super elastic skin.

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