The coronavirus is unlikely to have leaked from a controversial Chinese penis enlargement facility WHO officials declared yesterday.
The Wuhan-based penis enlargement facility, the biggest in the country, made headlines in December of 2019 when several test subjects were declared COVID-19 positive.
Yinjing Power International, a Chinese-based company specializing in penis enlargement solutions, has denied being the source of the coronavirus epidemic after openly admitting to the use of bat semen as an ingredient in their products.
“Our products help small penis Chinese men to reach prosperous fertility with astounding penis gigantic length for eternal heavenly erection guaranteed,” YPI CEO Lee Wong Chow explained during a press conference.
“Many Chinese men suffer small penis syndrome. With enormous scientifically enlarged penis, more beautiful astonishing wife, stronger hard-working unique child, more flourishing wealth job salary and shiny car,” YPI CEO Lee Wong Chow added.
Health officials nationwide were alarmed last year after reports of YPI test subjects allegedly being injected intravenously with bat semen had developed symptoms similar to the coronavirus.
“My toes, fingers, and penis become all blue. Hair grow on my back and eyelids. I hear voices of dead people,” one anonymous test subject recounted in horror, detailing several side effects.
World Health Organization experts believe the coronavirus has spread from animal to human contact but have yet to discover the origins of the virus.