A test subject for a new experimental cancer treatment involving radioactive isotopes is suffering from an unusual and extremely disturbing side effect: he has grown a four-inch-long second penis and three extra testicles.
47-year old Bob Walters from Montpelier has been participating in a clinical study led by the Central Vermont Medical Center since he was diagnosed with prostate cancer nine months ago.
The project uses rare radioactive isotopes projecting gamma rays that can be directed onto a tumor, destroying the cancerous cells.
The treatment significantly reduced Mr. Walters’ tumor and he’s now almost cured, but the side effects turned out to be much worse than what he had been warned about.
“They told me I could have headaches, nausea, or maybe erectile problems. But sweet Jesus, they never said I could grow extra balls and a second dick.”
Unfortunately for him, he signed a legal discharge before the beginning of the experiment and cannot sue the medical center.
“I really wanted to heal so I signed it without a second thought. Now I wish I’d taken time to think and read the fine print.”
This experimental new treatment has already met very promising successes, curing over 1400 cancer patients over the last two years across Vermont, Maine, and Ohio.
A few other disturbing cases of side effects have been reported, however, including a man from Cincinnati who grew a partially functioning eye on his lower back last year.
Despite these few setbacks which are considered isolated cases, the treatment is expected to be accredited by the Accreditation Commission for Health Care (ACHC) over the next six months.