Pharmaceutical plant explosion disseminates 240 tons of powdered laxatives over an English city

Life is about to get shittier in Kingston upon Hull in East Yorkshire after a minor explosion occurred in a drug manufacturing plant early this morning, propagating over 240 metric tons of powdered laxative solution in the air, covering the region in a thick cloud of white powder.

Around 5:15 this morning, an extremely loud explosion was heard throughout the region, and a huge white cloud rapidly formed in the sky, rapidly expanding before dissipating in a kind of powder smog.

According to Captain Reginald Hortons of the Humberside Fire & Rescue Services, responsible for investigating the incident, the explosion was probably caused by an electrical problem that caused sparks in a storage area, igniting large quantities of powdered chemicals.

“Some sparks ignited a dozen tons of powdered chemical compound causing a relatively minor deflagration. Unfortunately, the blast disseminated hundreds of tons of drugs in the air.”

Captain Hortons described the dust cloud as 300 tons of “possibly slightly dangerous but non-lethal chemicals”.

“It’s mostly laxatives, with small quantities of purgatives and antacids. It can cause some very unpleasant effects but nothing really dangerous or life-threatening.”

Several hours after the explosion, the air throughout the entire region was still filled with white dust consisting mostly of laxative compounds.

Hundreds of people have reported negative effects from breathing the dust, mostly symptoms of diarrhea or vomiting.

Experts believe the dust could remain a few days due to a high level of humidity and weak winds, but should eventually dissipate.

Public health officials advised residents of East Yorkshire to stay inside as much as possible and keep the windows closed until the situation is back to normal.

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