Museum employee contracts 150-million-year-old STD after sex with stegosaurus egg

An employee at the Dinosaur National Monument is now being hospitalized after experts believe he may have contracted a sexually transmitted disease dating back to the Late Jurassic period.

Adam Weinstein, 23, was hospitalized last week after suffering from symptoms usually associated with syphilis, such as loss of eyesight, coughing blood, and swollen genitals.

Weinstein admittedly told his doctor that he had inserted his genitals inside a stegosaurus egg at his workplace because he was depressed and sexually frustrated since his girlfriend left him several weeks before the incident.

“There was a hole in the egg and I don’t know what happened. One thing led to another and I just went for it” Weinstein admitted to reporters, visibly repentant.

Experts believe Mr. Weinstein’s sexual interaction with the stegosaurus eggs dating back to the Late Jurassic period could have revived a 150-million-year-old dormant bacteria similar to our modern syphilis.

“The patient also admitted he inserted a Tyrannosaurus tooth in his anal region on several occasions but this does not seem to have played a part in his current medical condition,” Dr. Surya Pakshi told reporters.

The employee’s warm semen might have triggered some form of biological reaction which brought the dinosaur-era bacteria out of its 150-million-year-long somnolence, one scientist explained.

“Not all bacteria can come back to life after being dormant for millions of years. Syphilis bacteria can do so because they form spores, which are extremely hardy and can survive dormant for hundreds of thousands or millions of years,” paleobiologist Hans Mueller believes.

In 2006, a team of Russian scientists revived an Anthrax bacterium that had been lying dormant in ice, beneath the surface of a glacier for 8-million-years and which led to the death of an estimated 200,000 reindeers and 230 nearby villagers.

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