Minnesota man suffers extreme frostbite to genitals after drunken sex with snowman he mistook for ex-wife

A Minnesota man in Red Lake has suffered extreme frostbite to his genitals after allegedly engaging in sexual intercourse with a snowman.

Russell Baker, 42, was rescued after being found unconscious and barely clothed on a neighbor’s lawn last week by Red Lake police.

Neighbors called 911 after witnessing a “drunk naked man in full erection having sex with a snowman” according to the official 911 correspondence.

“It must’ve been -2,2 °F outside and he was wearing boots and a hat but that was all. It seemed like he was attempting to insert his penis inside the snowman’s mouth but the snowman was too tall,” one eye witness confirmed to reporters.

Dr. Ari Sharon at Red Lake Hospital says Russell Baker, 42, is lucky to have survived after being found unconscious at temperatures close to -2,2 °F (approx. -19 °C).

“The patient’s genitals have suffered from extreme frostbite and one of his testicles will have to be removed but he should be fully healed and able to resume his formal sexual activities anytime soon,” Dr. Ari Sharon told reporters, visibly amused.

Russell Baker who claims to be going through a bitter divorce says he was under the influence of alcohol and medication when he mistook the snowman for his ex-wife.

“I was so drunk and high on meds that I really believed it was my ex, Shirley. I know it sounds crazy but they do have the same height and similar body shape and curves,” Baker told reporters visibly embarrassed.

Baker believes his hallucinations were triggered by the alcohol and medication but also by the lack of sleep and amount of stress brought on by the divorce.

“I still love Shirley, my ex, tremendously and I guess I just wanted to spend some quality time with her for the last time before we ended our relationship,” he explained with a lump in his throat.

Last year, a Minnesota homeless man under the influence of crystal meth was hospitalized in a similar fashion after having sexual intercourse with a fire hydrant at below-freezing temperatures.

1 Comment on "Minnesota man suffers extreme frostbite to genitals after drunken sex with snowman he mistook for ex-wife"

  1. A TOTAL EMBARRASSMENT FOR THE WHITE RACE.

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