L.A. Gang Member Gold Plates Own Genitals To Death

Los Angeles | An L.A. gang member, Nazario Conchuza Gonzalez, who is part of the infamous Ms-13 gang, also called Mara Salvatrucha, has died of medical complications after attempting to gold plate his own genitals to celebrate his 17th anniversary.

The young man that is originally from El Salvador and is an active member of the MS-13 crime family is believed to have attempted to gold plate his own genitals with a professional automotive gold plater stolen from a local garage after first painting his genitals with a lead-based paint, believe experts.

The 17-year old man who was allegedly a fan of the 2002 American comedy movie Goldmember, which is a loose parody of the James Bond films Goldfinger, had taken the Spanish nickname of “Pelotas de oro”, or golden testicles, before attempting to gold plate his own genitals to his ultimate demise.


Gold platting one’s own genitals is “a medical impossibility” and should not be attempted, warns Dr Ian Joseffson

Dr Ian Joseffson of the Los Angeles Community Hospital warns of a growing trend within gang members to attempt the “deadly operation”.

“This is the third case this year, but we have had many occurrences in hospitals in the region these past years. It seems to be a growing trend within the gang member community” he told reporters.

“I have no idea where this idea comes from but plating one’s own genitals will only ultimately end in serious medical complications or even death, as we have seen in this case” he explained.

Some experts believe the tradition might find its roots in prehistoric Mesoamerican cultures, such as the Mayas who painted parts of their bodies with gold paint to empower themselves and as an offering to the Gods.

5 Comments on "L.A. Gang Member Gold Plates Own Genitals To Death"

  1. Gold plating the family jewels?
    Okay my first reaction is ROFL, but then I move into wishing I could reach far enough to care.

  2. How bow gold plate ballz in yo ?

  3. ISIS Sucks Dick | May 23, 2017 at 12:34 pm | Reply

    Did it raise his life value??

  4. Great minds think alike. I agree that no one needs to dissuade the gang members from gold plating themselves…they need to encourage them to do it!!?

  5. You can also gold plate your head !! Just by following
    The i5 step instructions only say head instead of balls

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