L.A. Gang Member Gold Plates Own Genitals To Death

Los Angeles | An L.A. gang member, Nazario Conchuza Gonzalez, who is part of the infamous Ms-13 gang, also called Mara Salvatrucha, has died of medical complications after attempting to gold plate his own genitals to celebrate his 17th anniversary.

The young man that is originally from El Salvador and is an active member of the MS-13 crime family is believed to have attempted to gold plate his own genitals with a professional automotive gold plater stolen from a local garage after first painting his genitals with a lead-based paint, believe experts.

The 17-year old man who was allegedly a fan of the 2002 American comedy movie Goldmember, which is a loose parody of the James Bond films Goldfinger, had taken the Spanish nickname of “Pelotas de oro”, or golden testicles, before attempting to gold plate his own genitals to his ultimate demise.


Gold platting one’s own genitals is “a medical impossibility” and should not be attempted, warns Dr Ian Joseffson

Dr Ian Joseffson of the Los Angeles Community Hospital warns of a growing trend within gang members to attempt the “deadly operation”.

“This is the third case this year, but we have had many occurrences in hospitals in the region these past years. It seems to be a growing trend within the gang member community” he told reporters.

“I have no idea where this idea comes from but plating one’s own genitals will only ultimately end in serious medical complications or even death, as we have seen in this case” he explained.

Some experts believe the tradition might find its roots in prehistoric Mesoamerican cultures, such as the Mayas who painted parts of their bodies with gold paint to empower themselves and as an offering to the Gods.

5 Comments on "L.A. Gang Member Gold Plates Own Genitals To Death"

  1. It can be done . Gold is a very soft and pliable
    Metal . So here s how y
    Our need a hammer with a wide head and an anvil
    And a sheet of gold .
    Step 1. Lay your balls on the anvil .
    Step 2. Lay the sheet of gold on the anvil
    Step 3. Take hammer and beat gold around balls
    Step. 4. Ball s will eventually come off during hammering but that how you do the other side!
    Step 5. Put gold plated balls in your shirt pocket
    Where you can easily show them off . All your friends will be amazed and jealous .

  2. Can’t we all just work on the gift of love and care for each other. Encourage education, social diversity, acceptance and understanding.
    What would Jesus think of the remarks you have posted?

  3. basilia dufrene | May 23, 2016 at 2:04 am | Reply

    You’ve just given me the info I was searching for. I also can be helpful here 🙂 BTW, if anyone needs to fill out a IRS 433-B, I found a blank fillable form here https://goo.gl/v8FIay.

  4. We should send them gifts of car batteries, lead paint, and gold.

  5. I agree with tim, Mike must be a gangbanger. Hey mike, do us a favor and gold plate your testicles with some lead based paint so idiot gangbanger such as yourself and other pieces of dirt could stop reproducing. Please I’ll pay for it!

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