L.A. Gang Member Gold Plates Own Genitals To Death

Los Angeles | An L.A. gang member, Nazario Conchuza Gonzalez, who is part of the infamous Ms-13 gang, also called Mara Salvatrucha, has died of medical complications after attempting to gold plate his own genitals to celebrate his 17th anniversary.

The young man that is originally from El Salvador and is an active member of the MS-13 crime family is believed to have attempted to gold plate his own genitals with a professional automotive gold plater stolen from a local garage after first painting his genitals with a lead-based paint, believe experts.

The 17-year old man who was allegedly a fan of the 2002 American comedy movie Goldmember, which is a loose parody of the James Bond films Goldfinger, had taken the Spanish nickname of “Pelotas de oro”, or golden testicles, before attempting to gold plate his own genitals to his ultimate demise.


Gold platting one’s own genitals is “a medical impossibility” and should not be attempted, warns Dr Ian Joseffson

Dr Ian Joseffson of the Los Angeles Community Hospital warns of a growing trend within gang members to attempt the “deadly operation”.

“This is the third case this year, but we have had many occurrences in hospitals in the region these past years. It seems to be a growing trend within the gang member community” he told reporters.

“I have no idea where this idea comes from but plating one’s own genitals will only ultimately end in serious medical complications or even death, as we have seen in this case” he explained.

Some experts believe the tradition might find its roots in prehistoric Mesoamerican cultures, such as the Mayas who painted parts of their bodies with gold paint to empower themselves and as an offering to the Gods.

14 Comments on "L.A. Gang Member Gold Plates Own Genitals To Death"

  1. lets gold plate regular people and let ganbangers live cuz regular people are the ones who shoot churches up and rape little girls.. at least ganbangers just kill each other lol.. hashtag that idea

    • Mike, you are a flippin’ idiot. “normal” people do not shoot up churches and rape little girls. The sickos that do that do not deserve to live, nor do gang bangers. They all need to die!

    • Jon G. Troup | June 29, 2015 at 5:38 pm |

      I think every gang member should do it!

  2. This must be the newest way of thinning the hard.

  3. Tena WhitlockBurke | June 24, 2015 at 12:28 am | Reply

    I agree…i will purchase the gold paint. I will take up a collection to buy the paint! I will be happy to melt down gold for them as well as put more mercury in it to make it go farther! I also encourage the slimy little idiots to coat their tongues as well!

  4. Hell yea, I gold plated my balls and it the best thing I have ever done. I highly recommend it!

  5. why would someone stop dangerous gang members from killing themselves? we should be telling them it’s totally possible.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.