Irish farmer claims he was sexually assaulted by a leprechaun

A dairy farmer from Southern Ireland says he was sexually assaulted for two days by “an extremely short bearded humanoid” which he says is a leprechaun.

In an exclusive interview broadcasted this morning on RTÉ, Angus Brennan from Watergrasshill, near Cork, says he was milking his cows on Saturday when he was hit on the head from behind with a shovel or similar tool.

The attack knocked him out, and when he woke up a few hours later, he had been tied up to a support beam inside his own barn.

The 54-year old farmer says he was repeatedly raped over the next 40 hours by a “waist-high midget with a red beard and a cocked hat”.

“It wasn’t human! It was short, fiendish and spoke in gibberish.”

According to Mr. Brennan, the “leprechaun” raped him more than 20 times over the weekend before leaving for some unknown reason.

“It used me in every possible way over a period of two days, and then it left. A few hours later, I was finally able to free myself from my bonds and call the police.” 

Gardaí officers and paramedics arrived on the site within minutes and found Mr. Brennan lying in a pool of his own blood.

He was transported to the Bon Secours Hospital in Cork where doctors observed “obvious signs of a violent sexual aggression”.

Gardai Commissioner Noirin O’Sullivan confirmed that the national police force had opened an investigation, but insisted that investigators were, at the moment, looking for “human” suspects.

According to the police, the suspect could be a bearded red-headed midget, measuring around 80 centimeters tall.

According to the police, the suspect could be a bearded, red-headed midget measuring around 80 centimeters tall.

It’s rather improbable that the rapist turns out to be a Leprechaun, a type of fairy in Irish folklore usually depicted as little bearded men who partake in mischief.

Even so, a surprisingly high number of leprechaun sightings and even a few other attacks have reported over recent years across the United Kingdom, and even in the United States.

In April 2015, a Welsh man reported being assaulted and robbed by a pair of “evil-looking leprechauns” armed with knives.

In June 2012, in Seattle, a man who was found covered in blood outside a bar reported being assaulted by “a bunch of leprechauns”.

In 2006, a leprechaun sighting in Mobile drew large crowds and even forced police intervention.

In all cases, the leprechauns have yet to be apprehended.

5 Comments on "Irish farmer claims he was sexually assaulted by a leprechaun"

  1. Oh geeze Ed Sheeran is out here diddling people

  2. I did not know Ireland had Pot that strong, He must have had some good weed.

  3. Karen Kalman | March 2, 2018 at 2:11 am | Reply

    How big was the wee one’s shillelagh stick?

  4. Me thinketh he had a wee too much of the old Irish Whiskey.

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