FDA Approves New Tranquilizing Darts for Children

Washington | The FDA announced this morning it gave its approval for the marketing release of their new anesthetic dart guns, specifically designed to calm children suffering from ADHD.

The new product is capable of putting a child to sleep in less than 4 seconds and reportedly has no serious long-term effects on the health of children.

These new tools specifically created to assist parents with children suffering from ADHD have a practical range of approximately 10 to 12 feet (3 to 4 meters) and their effect is meant to last for a period of 4 to 6 hours per injection.

The manufacturer advises, however, not to use the gun more than 1 to 2 times daily on the same child in order to prevent the development of a physical addiction to the product.

“With the dramatic rise of ADHD cases, there was a very high demand for this kind of product,” explains Mr. William Murray, the company’s public relations manager. 


The micro darts reportedly have no serious long-term effects on the health of children

The organization Mothers against Drugs qualified these darts as a “very dangerous solutionand has filed an application for review of the decision in court.

“It is simply ridiculous and completely unacceptable to think that we will start shooting our children with guns and injecting them drugs ourselves,” says Martha Brown, the vice-president of the organization.

“You might as well use a taser gun while you’re at it” she told reporters during the press conference.

Despite the significant controversy surrounding the release of the product, the product should be available in drug stores around the country this summer.

5 Comments on "FDA Approves New Tranquilizing Darts for Children"

  1. Does it come in “Nagging Wife / Girlfriend” strength? LOL!

  2. Not good it will now be easier for criminals to Rob and rape even more people be oh yeah and kill people who are defenseless. Don’t do it

  3. What we going to do the day the kids will use it gor you and you’ll be a sleep in 4 sec
    It’s going to happen

  4. The tazer idea would probably be more effective long term. 😀

  5. Concerned Parent | June 2, 2019 at 8:26 pm | Reply

    Sounds like this is going to be available for the public. So, pretty much making it easier for kid nappers to keep kids from screaming and fighting back. And making it easier for anyone to get raped. Yeah, great job guys, smh

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