FDA Approves New Tranquilizing Darts for Children

Washington | The FDA announced this morning it gave its approval for the marketing release of their new anesthetic dart guns, specifically designed to calm children suffering from ADHD.

The new product is capable of putting a child to sleep in less than 4 seconds and reportedly has no serious long-term effects on the health of children.

These new tools specifically created to assist parents with children suffering from ADHD have a practical range of approximately 10 to 12 feet (3 to 4 meters) and their effect is meant to last for a period of 4 to 6 hours per injection.

The manufacturer advises, however, not to use the gun more than 1 to 2 times daily on the same child in order to prevent the development of a physical addiction to the product.

“With the dramatic rise of ADHD cases, there was a very high demand for this kind of product,” explains Mr. William Murray, the company’s public relations manager. 


The micro darts reportedly have no serious long-term effects on the health of children

The organization Mothers against Drugs qualified these darts as a “very dangerous solutionand has filed an application for review of the decision in court.

“It is simply ridiculous and completely unacceptable to think that we will start shooting our children with guns and injecting them drugs ourselves,” says Martha Brown, the vice-president of the organization.

“You might as well use a taser gun while you’re at it” she told reporters during the press conference.

Despite the significant controversy surrounding the release of the product, the product should be available in drug stores around the country this summer.

5 Comments on "FDA Approves New Tranquilizing Darts for Children"

  1. Laureen Kanyan Reimer | May 22, 2017 at 6:09 pm | Reply

    The moron that uses this on my great grandson… Would be found dead…. With that, stuck up their ASS!!!

  2. What about ppl who will use it for there own purpose like ppl who like abducting kids.

  3. What if the police used it instead of killing people. Figure out a strong enough dose to knock them out. Besides you’ll never see a violent stoner

  4. Ms. Anne Thrope | June 27, 2016 at 2:40 pm | Reply

    Thank god this is finally being legalized.
    My life partners and I have been forced to manufacture our own sedatives and delivery devices for our kids for years.
    Finally we can parent effectively AND safely.
    Thank god for modern medicine

  5. Charles Moeller | June 19, 2016 at 6:51 pm | Reply

    The unintended consequences of these tranquilizer guns are the use
    by all manner of nefarious persons to assist them in robbery, rape, kidnapping, etc.

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