FDA Approves New Tranquilizing Darts for Children

Washington | The FDA announced this morning it gave its approval for the marketing release of their new anesthetic dart guns, specifically designed to calm children suffering from ADHD.

The new product is capable of putting a child to sleep in less than 4 seconds and reportedly has no serious long-term effects on the health of children.

These new tools specifically created to assist parents with children suffering from ADHD have a practical range of approximately 10 to 12 feet (3 to 4 meters) and their effect is meant to last for a period of 4 to 6 hours per injection.

The manufacturer advises, however, not to use the gun more than 1 to 2 times daily on the same child in order to prevent the development of a physical addiction to the product.

“With the dramatic rise of ADHD cases, there was a very high demand for this kind of product,” explains Mr. William Murray, the company’s public relations manager. 


The micro darts reportedly have no serious long-term effects on the health of children

The organization Mothers against Drugs qualified these darts as a “very dangerous solutionand has filed an application for review of the decision in court.

“It is simply ridiculous and completely unacceptable to think that we will start shooting our children with guns and injecting them drugs ourselves,” says Martha Brown, the vice-president of the organization.

“You might as well use a taser gun while you’re at it” she told reporters during the press conference.

Despite the significant controversy surrounding the release of the product, the product should be available in drug stores around the country this summer.

6 Comments on "FDA Approves New Tranquilizing Darts for Children"

  1. Zarabeth anderson | May 13, 2016 at 3:39 am | Reply

    So, does this mean you can save up your kids ADHD darts……for when you go to places where parents dont have any idea that their brats are running around ruining everyone elses dinner because they are busy ignoring them or on their phones???? (fyi……Im kidding….this is the most retarded ideas EVER…..my former step son had violent rage disorder and autism and MR….and outburst is a nice word…..and I wouldnt dare doing this….)

  2. The airlines should sell these at the gate along with dry sandwiches and shallow news print.

  3. Both Johnson and Johnson and the FDA are now certified as legal child abusers.

  4. Would marijuana not be a better option than this? Atleast its calming and there’s probably less side effects with marijuana rather than a tranquilizer gun… I’m not pro legalisation of marijuana but I’m just wondering if it would be better as it is a depressant not a stimulant and its easier to take the right dosage. Isn’t there medicinal marijuana for ADHD and ADD?

  5. ADHD is caused from vaccines. Look into it. As for this gun, it shows how weak humanity has come In dealing with our future generations. SMH

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