FDA Approves New Tranquilizing Darts for Children

Washington | The FDA announced this morning it gave its approval for the marketing release of their new anesthetic dart guns, specifically designed to calm children suffering from ADHD.

The new product is capable of putting a child to sleep in less than 4 seconds and reportedly has no serious long-term effects on the health of children.

These new tools specifically created to assist parents with children suffering from ADHD have a practical range of approximately 10 to 12 feet (3 to 4 meters) and their effect is meant to last for a period of 4 to 6 hours per injection.

The manufacturer advises, however, not to use the gun more than 1 to 2 times daily on the same child in order to prevent the development of a physical addiction to the product.

“With the dramatic rise of ADHD cases, there was a very high demand for this kind of product,” explains Mr. William Murray, the company’s public relations manager. 

child-test

The micro darts reportedly have no serious long-term effects on the health of children

The organization Mothers against Drugs qualified these darts as a “very dangerous solutionand has filed an application for review of the decision in court.

“It is simply ridiculous and completely unacceptable to think that we will start shooting our children with guns and injecting them drugs ourselves,” says Martha Brown, the vice-president of the organization.

“You might as well use a taser gun while you’re at it” she told reporters during the press conference.

Despite the significant controversy surrounding the release of the product, the product should be available in drug stores around the country this summer.

3 Comments on "FDA Approves New Tranquilizing Darts for Children"

  1. Oops !!
    Typo on previous post.

    “OCPD” is a lung condition.

    Not the mental health “condition”

  2. “ADHD” & “COPD”
    Indication of Bad Parenting,
    as described
    by many psychologists !

  3. Philip Yeager | July 10, 2019 at 8:05 am | Reply

    Has to be the dumbest idea ever and any parent considering using,you’re the biggest idiot scumbag parents as well. As of not enough struggle in life ahead, early drug addiction plus all these comments are dead on. Pharmaceutical companies are the devil’s hands always. Piece of Shiats

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