COVID-19: Chinese health authorities confirm patient zero ‘had sex with bats’

Chinese health authorities have confirmed the identity of the patient zero from whom the first case of coronavirus has originated.

Yin Dao Tang, 24, from the province of Hubei, is the first case of the novel coronavirus that emerged on November 17, according to Chinese government data.

Tang is believed to have contracted the disease after indulging in sexual acts with several animals, including bats.

“We believe that patient zero has contracted COVID-19 through oral, genital or anal sexual penetration with various animals, especially bats,” Chinese officials said yesterday.

Patient zero’s father, Yīn Jīng Xìng Tang, has told reporters that he is terribly ashamed of his son’s sexual deviances and said that his son was forced to turn to animals because he could not find a wife and preferred sex with animals over becoming a homosexual.

“I apologize for my son’s sexual deviances but he has always complained that there are no women to have sex with in China, only men,” patient zero’s father told reporters.

Chinese officials have warned to temporarily abstain from having sexual contact with any animals, especially with bats.

“We ask the population to abstain temporarily from oral, genital or anal sexual contact with animals, especially bats,” Chinese officials warned citizens yesterday.

The Chinese government said it would consider fines and prison time to enforce that the population temporarily abstains from sexual contact with animals until the pandemic is fully controlled.

China’s millennial-old cultural traditions have made the bat a synonym of healthy sexual appetite, longevity, good eyesight and luck and are a popular dish in the region of Hubei.

1 Comment on "COVID-19: Chinese health authorities confirm patient zero ‘had sex with bats’"

  1. AIDS Patient Zero: F*cked monkey
    COVID-19 Patient Zero: F*cked bat

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.