Boston man sues Dyson for $2.3 million after being partially emasculated by vacuum cleaner
A Boston man is suing Dyson for $2.3 million after he was left partially emasculated from inserting his penis into a Dyson vacuum cleaner. Matthew…
Sexuality
Texas man admits kidnapping 79 people to anally probe them while disguised as an alien
El Paso, Texas | A man who was arrested by the FBI Yesterday has confessed to kidnapping and sexually assaulting several dozen people while using…
FBI raid at NSA employee’s home reveals over 16,000,000 ‘dick pics’
FBI agents have discovered an estimated 16 million pictures of men’s genitals, also known as “dick pics”, during a raid on an NSA employee’s home…
Trans-species man who identifies as a turkey wants to ban Thanksgiving Day
An Oklahoma trans-species man who identifies as a turkey is calling for politicians to ban once and for all the American holiday of Thanksgiving Day, which…
San Diego Zoo: Rhino has 96-hour-long erection after teenagers feed it Viagra
San Diego, CA | A southern white rhino has been in full-blown erection for over 96 hours at the San Diego Zoo, Safari Park officials report….
Woman beats her Tinder date with a 16-inch dildo for refusing to perform oral sex on her
Baltimore, Maryland | A 43-year old woman was arrested last night after she assaulted a man she had just met through Tinder with an oversized…
Colorado man claims he was held 2 weeks as a sex slave by a grizzly bear
A man from the small town of Gould, just North of the Rocky Mountain National Park, claims he was held captive and repeatedly raped by…
Man sues strip club where he contracted syphilis after licking dance pole
PORTLAND, OR | A 28-year-old man who has contracted syphilis after licking a dance pole has filed a lawsuit against an Oregon strip club. The…
Couple stuck together for 16 hours after mistaking super glue for lubricant
San Francisco, CA | A San Francisco couple was hospitalized for an excruciating 16 hours this week at San Francisco’s General Hospital after mistaking an…
Indonesian zoo employee hospitalized after attempting oral sex on male rhino
Surabaya | A zookeeper at Indonesia’s Surabaya Zoo has been severely injured after being trampled by a Sumatran rhinoceros, reports the Kalimantan Press this week. Rano…