Boston man sues Dyson for $2.3 million after being partially emasculated by vacuum cleaner

A Boston man is suing Dyson for $2.3 million after he was left partially emasculated from inserting his penis into a Dyson vacuum cleaner.

Matthew Blair, 47, was transported to the Boston Medical Center last month where he necessitated a 96-hour-long surgical procedure costing him $1,260,000 in medical fees with no insurance.

Surgeons were forced to remove one of Blair’s testicles as well as the top section of his penis, requiring 37 stitches and leaving him practically impotent because of his inability to maintain an erection more than several seconds.

“I don’t recognize my penis anymore, it’s all flabby and limp and I’m missing a ball,” Matthew Blair testified in court.

Attorney Peter Phelps claims his client’s permanent injury could have been prevented if a label or warning had been included by the company with the Dyson device.

“My client was not aware of the dangers of using the device in such a manner and was never warned that such sexual maneuvers could leave him permanently injured” Blair’s lawyer, Peter Phelps, said in court.

Attorney Peter Phelps also claims his client has never fully recovered from his injuries and that he is unable to participate in the activities or pleasures of life that he formerly enjoyed.

In 2012, a similar lawsuit was filed against hand dryer manufacturer Excel Dryer after a seventeen-year-old had gotten his penis stuck in a high school washroom hand dryer.

Excel Dryer was eventually forced to legally specify not to introduce objects of any nature, including body parts, into their products and the teenager’s parents were conceded an undisclosed amount of money.

4 Comments on "Boston man sues Dyson for $2.3 million after being partially emasculated by vacuum cleaner"

  1. I DONT STICK MY PENIS IN MY VACCUM | June 18, 2020 at 10:45 pm | Reply

    I have no words…. honestly.

    Hes a dumbass for this.

  2. It says VACUUM CLEANER NOT PENIS EATER.NEXT HE’ll probably shove it up his ass if he has hemorrhoids. PPPPPPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEESE.

  3. The obvious deliciousness of his lawyers name.

  4. William M Hepfer | November 1, 2019 at 10:57 pm | Reply

    Sounds like something Wolowitz would do.

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