Bomb squad successfully disarms artillery shell stuck in man’s rectum

Explosive experts of the SFPD bomb squad were called to the San Francisco General Hospital this morning, to disarm an artillery projectile that was stuck in a patient’s anal cavity.

The 47-year old patient arrived at the hospital around 9:00 AM with a live M107 155mm howitzer projectile stuffed in his rectum.

The SFPD bomb squad was immediately called on the site to disarm the massive ammunition, weighing almost 95 pounds and measuring more than 31 inches long.

A large portion of the hospital had to be evacuated in case the projectile exploded.

According to San Francisco Police Department spokesperson, Lt. Linda Hall, the shell could have destroyed most of the building if it had exploded.

“This was a very delicate situation involving powerful military explosives. If it had blown up, there would have been hundreds of victims.”

It took explosive experts more than two hours to successfully disarm the explosive device, allowing doctors to remove it from the patient’s cavity.

“The fact that the shell was stuck inside a patient made disarming it very complicated. Fortunately, these guys are the best in the world and they were able to accomplish a miracle.”

The SFPD has confirmed that it will now dispose of the shell at an unidentified military facility.

SFPD spokeswoman Linda Halll says the military projectile could have made hundreds of victims if had exploded.

SFPD spokeswoman Linda Hall says the military projectile could have made hundreds of victims if had exploded.

The patient’s name hasn’t been made public, but the San Francisco Police Department has confirmed that it had opened an investigation to determine how the man had acquired the artillery shell.

The possession of such powerful military projectiles is illegal in California and can lead to sentences of up to 10 years in prison.

The man could also face several other criminal charges like possession of an explosive device, negligent manipulation of an explosive device and endangering the life of others.

5 Comments on "Bomb squad successfully disarms artillery shell stuck in man’s rectum"

  1. Yikes, and did his guts all fall out too, hahaha?

  2. Negligent manipulation of an explosive device. That’s priceless.

  3. Whaat a pain in the ass!

  4. was his name Dr. Strangelove?

  5. Thank God for all of the first responders like the SFPD bomb squad that keep America safe on a daily basis.

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