Missouri Pig Farmer Contracts Swine Flu After Sex with Infected Animal

missouri-swine-flu

Silver Creek | A Missouri pig farmer lies in critical condition at Joplin’s Mercy Hospital after contracting an extremely rare and life-threatening strand of pig influenza, commonly known as swine flu.

The 76-year old man who runs a third generation pig farm in the small community of 623 people has fallen victim to swine flu 19 times in the past 6 years, numbers that led doctors to investigate into the man’s personal habits.

“Being that he works with pigs, we didn’t believe there was anything wrong at first” admits Dr Adam Whites. “There are very mild strains of swine flu that are commonly found in the blood of most pig farmers in very low levels. But 19 serious outbreaks of the virus in the past 6 years is a lot, so we started to ask questions because he had exposure levels 900% higher than the average pig farmer and the numbers just don’t lie” he concedes.

cia-killer

The man that admits to having sexual relations with “some but not all” of his farm animals believes his disease is a “punishment of God”

Although the man has developed a strong immunity to the virus, doctors believe this peculiar strain may endanger the man’s life, a reality that pushed the old farmer to finally admit to the truth about his “relationship” with the pigs.

“It ain’t like I’ve been doing this all my life” he warned local reporters. “I’ve been married for 42 years of my life and I was faithful all those years but once, and I never would’ve cheated on Betty for one of those damn pigs” he admitted. “But since Betty’s gone, I’ve been so lonely, and I guess the Devil’s played them tricks on me and got me to screw those ugly pigs, and now I’m surely going to die, and I know God is punishing me, and I fully deserve it” admits the 76-year old man.

The man that fears for his life hopes his story will convince others not to “shame themselves” in the same way and will keep them “in step with God’s word”.

Although Missouri officially criminalized bestiality in 2002, the man will not be charged due to his peculiar health condition, admit authorities. 

13 Comments on "Missouri Pig Farmer Contracts Swine Flu After Sex with Infected Animal"

  1. susan flores | March 9, 2015 at 9:30 am | Reply

    He should be punished. The reason for not punishing him is precisely why he Should be punished! The laws favor who they choose. It’s Not Right to let him off! He’s a jackass and I’m not feeling sorry forhim at,all. Because of his age he should have some morals by now. He surely knew, he admitted it was a gross action and punishable. All the reasons he should be punished are the very reasons he’s getting away with it! Why don’t you use your brain?! Maybe your all just idiots.

    • The man is living in a sense–hell, right now. That is punishment enough. God has the final word. I don’t want to judge as God has said not to. The man is in God’s hand.

    • LAURA Lee seriously???? If he didnt get the swine, he would keep abusing pigs and the pig would end up on your table for you to eat. HOW gross is that???? That is NOT enough punishment for him. He needs to be charged!!

    • Christine Shields | March 12, 2015 at 11:35 pm |

      How any sane person insert the word ‘god’ into two lines whilst banging on that this man is in ‘sense-hell’ is incredulous. No other entity had a bearing on this, this vulgar 76 year old man took it upon himself to have sex with pigs… it’s inexcusable, vulgar, has nothing to do with a devil, other than the one sitting on this vile individual’s own shoulder. What he did is beastiality, there is no excuse and he should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

    • Ya, it was the pigs fault… The devil’s fault… I don’t care if they charge him or not… Hopefully they take his farm away from him either way

  2. Carla Porter | March 9, 2015 at 1:13 pm | Reply

    I truly hate the way humanity exploits animals. Imprison them. Mistreat them. Rape them. Kill them. Eat them.

    ALL animals deserve better.

    • Hey…genius…. Humans ARE animals!

    • Carla Porter | March 11, 2015 at 2:14 am |

      April, That’s your contribution???

      Do you think I’d be willing to post personal comments, exposing personal aspects of myself if I cared about other people’s responses to my original posting?

    • Ummm .. Carla, don’t look now but humans are animals.

    • Humans are animals, yes, but they consider themselves higher enough than aaaaaaalll the other species, so that they can exploits the other animals, Imprison them, Mistreat them, Rape them Kill them, Eat them.
      Human species is the only species who practises this barbarity.Human consider themselves as superior beings, but their behaviour make them , in most of time, the lowest of all, the less spiritualy advanced, the less gentle, the less compassionate. If Devil exists, he is Human made.

    • OK so april I see you fuck animals too? Because we are animals too? way to go!

  3. This is disgusting. If he survives this strain of Flu, he should definitely be charged. And, how dare he call what he did a “Relationship”! It’s not like the pigs had a choice. It’s been proven that some pigs are actually intelligent so I’ll bet they were traumatized.

  4. karma at its best

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