Silver Creek | A Missouri pig farmer lies in critical condition at Joplin’s Mercy Hospital after contracting an extremely rare and life-threatening strand of pig influenza, commonly known as swine flu.
The 76-year old man who runs a third generation pig farm in the small community of 623 people has fallen victim to swine flu 19 times in the past 6 years, numbers that led doctors to investigate into the man’s personal habits.
“Being that he works with pigs, we didn’t believe there was anything wrong at first” admits Dr Adam Whites. “There are very mild strains of swine flu that are commonly found in the blood of most pig farmers in very low levels. But 19 serious outbreaks of the virus in the past 6 years is a lot, so we started to ask questions because he had exposure levels 900% higher than the average pig farmer and the numbers just don’t lie” he concedes.
Although the man has developed a strong immunity to the virus, doctors believe this peculiar strain may endanger the man’s life, a reality that pushed the old farmer to finally admit to the truth about his “relationship” with the pigs.
“It ain’t like I’ve been doing this all my life” he warned local reporters. “I’ve been married for 42 years of my life and I was faithful all those years but once, and I never would’ve cheated on Betty for one of those damn pigs” he admitted. “But since Betty’s gone, I’ve been so lonely, and I guess the Devil’s played them tricks on me and got me to screw those ugly pigs, and now I’m surely going to die, and I know God is punishing me, and I fully deserve it” admits the 76-year old man.
The man that fears for his life hopes his story will convince others not to “shame themselves” in the same way and will keep them “in step with God’s word”.
Although Missouri officially criminalized bestiality in 2002, the man will not be charged due to his peculiar health condition, admit authorities.