McDonald’s employee accused of smuggling 80 lbs of McNuggets in his anal cavity

mccroquettes

An employee of a McDonald’s restaurant in Canada was accused of stealing more than 80 lbs of chicken Mcnuggets from his employer, allegedly hiding them in his rectum to smuggle them out of his workplace.

31-year old Andy Brown was arrested this morning by the Ottawa Police, after a cavity search revealed four condoms filled with frozen chicken nuggets hidden in his rectum.

According to McDonald’s spokesman David Knoxx, Mr Brown’s employer had suspected him of stealing food for some time and had already searched him on five occasions, but they never seemed to find anything on him.

“The store manager noticed six months ago that large quantities of nuggets were missing,” Mr. Knoxx told reporters. “We installed additional security cameras at various strategic locations throughout the restaurant, and we were finally able to identify the problem. We were extremely shocked when we saw him going inside the freezer with his hands full of condoms and lubricant!”

A search of Mr Brown’s locker revealed a large jar of Vaseline and dozens of unused condoms.

ottawapolice

Ottawa Police Chief Charles Bordeleau says that the investigation showed Mr Brown had already stolen at least 80 to 100 lbs of McNuggets over the last few months.

Mr Brown now faces five charges of petty theft and two charges of possession of stolen property, after allegedly stealing more than 80 lbs of McNuggets between the month of December 2015 and September 2016.

Investigators posited that he used a little ingenuity and some Vaseline, inserting the nuggets in condoms and hiding them in his anal cavity to smuggle them out of his workplace.

He has been released on a promise to appear in court on October 12 for the beginning of his trial.

5 Comments on "McDonald’s employee accused of smuggling 80 lbs of McNuggets in his anal cavity"

  1. Nuggets with his nuggets!

  2. Makes you wonder WHY someone would do that? What drives them? Is Their Family suffering from Hunger for Him to go to such extremes? HOW does That Much Stuff fit in someone’s Anal Cavity??? JS

  3. Michael Bristow | October 1, 2016 at 1:03 am | Reply

    You can’t use Vaseline with latex condoms… I can only assume that these were non-latex condoms.

  4. Aren’t condoms more expensive than mc nuggets? Maybe it was just a frozen food fetish driven by the movie sausage fest. Who knows maybe the frozen mystery meat does wonders for hemroids.

  5. I guess it was ALL dark meat

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