FDA Approves New Tranquilizing Darts for Children

dart-gun

Washington | The FDA announced this morning it gave its approval for the marketing release of their new anesthetic dart guns, specifically designed to calm children suffering from ADHD.

The new product is capable of putting a child to sleep in less than 4 seconds and reportedly has no serious long-term effects on the health of children.

These new tools specifically created to assist parents with children suffering from ADHD have a practical range of approximately 10 to 12 feet (3 to 4 meters) and their effect is meant to last for a period of 4 to 6 hours per injection. The manufacturer advises, however, not to use the gun more than 1 to 2 times daily on the same child in order to prevent the development of a physical addiction to the product.

“With the dramatic rise of ADHD cases, there was a very high demand for this kind of product,” explains Mr. William Murray, the company’s public relations manager. 

child-test

The micro darts reportedly have no serious long-term effects on the health of children

The organization Mothers against Drugs qualified these darts as a “very dangerous solutionand has filed an application for review of the decision in court.

“It is simply ridiculous and completely unacceptable to think that we will start shooting our children with guns and injecting them drugs ourselves,” says Martha Brown, the vice-president of the organization.

“You might as well use a taser gun while you’re at it” she told reporters during the press conference.

Despite the significant controversy surrounding the release of the product, the product should be available in drug stores around the country this summer.

4 Comments on "FDA Approves New Tranquilizing Darts for Children"

  1. OMG – It’s a wind up people…

  2. Sweet! Instead of taking out all the chemicals that are causing the behavior….just shoot them up with more!!! Great idea!

  3. Shirley Barclay | May 23, 2017 at 5:16 pm | Reply

    I THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE A NIGHTMARE FOR US ALL. PUTTING OUR KIDS ARTIFICALLY TO SLEEP IS NOT A GOOD THING. I DO NOT THINK ADHD IS EASY TO DEAL WITH UNDER THE BEST OF CIRCUMSTANCES BUT TO DO THIS IS BEYOND IMAGINATION AND VERY DANGEROUS. AND, WHO DECIDES THAT A KID NEEDS THIS, FOR SALE IN DRUG STORES, WHO ELE=SE WILL USE THIS, ROBBERS, THIEVES, RAPERS, CHILD MOLESTERS, AND GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT ELSE. THIS IS HORRIBLE. GRAMMA SHIRLEY BARCLAY

  4. Louis Bravos | May 23, 2017 at 4:28 pm | Reply

    My parents allowed me to go out on a bike ride.

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